literature

What Life Would Be Like

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royalocean's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

I often pondered what I would do
if I received a call notifying me that you
were no longer of this plane, that you
were dead. But to me, you died
a long time ago. What you're doing right
now isn't living, you're merely existing.
You aren't a person anymore, just a hollow
shell fueled solely by addiction and nothing
else. So would I be devastated if that call
were to come right now? I really don't believe
it would bother me all that much. You
wander streets and inhale small white
pebbles of pestilence. You were never a
father to me. You can't miss something you
never had.

I often pondered what it would be like to
have grown up with a father. Maybe I would
have played more sports, been more active.
Maybe I wouldn't be a poet, a writer, an artist.
Maybe I'd be a star athlete, getting prepped
for the pro's. But none of that matters. Life
has played out the way it is meant to be,
and despite the many times I've coiled up
in the bathroom away from everyone, in
heavy tears when you'd get smashed and
call, because the intoxication had you feeling
real guilty. At least you still feel something.

Well I'm not a child anymore. I'm not longing
for a father-figure, I never needed one. My
mother is more of a father than you'd ever
be. She raised us all, something you were never
capable of doing. And we all turned out
amazing. So I hope this is the life you want,
to know that you had something real, something
you could hold in your hand, something you
could take to baseball games, or play catch
with, and you let it all go for a drug. So I'll
bury these pondering's of what life would be
like had things of been different, because to
be honest, I wouldn't have things any other way.
Full title: What life would be like if you were here.
© 2009 - 2024 royalocean
Comments8
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Talkerwolf's avatar
I could really feel this, it hit down deep.