literature

Hide And Seek VII

Deviation Actions

Published: Oct 15, 2009

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Literature Text

_{It was remarkable how fragile she was, despite her best efforts to show me otherwise. Even when she refused to cry in front of me, unless it was absolutely rock bottom, or how she'd always be the one comforting me after an incident instead of the other way around. It was kind of funny, actually. Well, maybe not funny. But one can find humor in seeing someone physically hurt comforting someone emotionally hurt.

     We were seven years old when I first realized what was happening. Up until that point, everything was bright and sunny and would never go wrong. I could never grasp the concept of abuse before that age. It is hard to imagine how I managed to get it when I did, let alone an age earlier. But when it hit me, it hit hard. I guess kind of like Frank. I couldn't even begin to understand what she was going through. My life had been so sheltered and wonderful. Anything outside the realm of chasing the Ice Cream truck on Sunday afternoons after church, still in my nice clothes, with my mother yelling behind me, was just unfathomable.

     I remember her coming over late one night, tossing pebbles at my window like in the movies. I went to the front door to let her in, and I was stunned by what I saw. We spent the whole night together. At that age, you are at the point of knowing the difference between genders, but still not fully capable of understanding what is appropriate or inappropriate. To us, it was normal for her to sneak over every night and spend the night with me. We'd be in the same bed, most of the time body to body. I guess it would seem weird to outside eyes.

     The night my mom caught her sneaking over was when everything changed. It all became real. I never lied to my mother about anything, so of course I had to tell her the truth about what was happening, even though Elizabeth begged me not to. She felt some how it was her fault, which is normal for kids. My mother assured her that it wasn't her fault at all, and that she wasn't going to call the police or do anything like that. It was best to just be there for her instead of try to fix it right now. We lived in a very judgmental community, where the damage done by exposing it and trying to do something about it would be a lot higher than what was happening at that time. We didn't think it would get worse. Unfortunately, it did.

     My mother told Elizabeth she was allowed over any time she pleased, and that it was okay for her to stay the night with me. I guess my mom sort of understood our bond. It was never anything inappropriate. It was never anything wrong. It was a matter of me trying to play protector, even at that age, and her needing her Teddy Bear to comfort her. I developed that instinctive inherent need to protect her at such a young age. Having two older brothers and an older sister instilled that in me. The need to always be the hero, and do everything in my power to protect even when protection isn't necessary.}